Not for Lack of Trying

It's been a while since I last wrote anything, but not for nothing to say. Quite the opposite, but it's just finding time to sit and think and get something out.

I've just finished my first solo week in my new job, bringing my total graduate employment history to 3 weeks. And it's not even that busy, I'm just full of ideas and trying to work out where to start. Then there are the other 16 hours in the day and they have their own demands.

I want to see my man. I can't do that very often so I want to call. I want to lose myself in my hobbies. I want to practice my French and I want to start on Chinese. I want to plan my stall at the market, I want to see my friends. I want to sit in the sun and read and I want to cook something nice for dinner. I want to travel again! Yes, me me me, I want I want...

8 of those 16 hours are for sleeping, and fitting everything else in is increasingly hard because I am constantly adding to my list of I Want and even finding time to write them down before I forget them is tricky! I've taken to answering emails and reading my book on the train, and writing in my diary as I am walking to work, head down and all over the footpath because I'm not watching my step. I can't look at a computer for too long outside work because I just end up with 26 further things I want to do thanks to all the possibilities it presents.

I look at this blog and I remember the other thing I want to do, which I'm halfway through. It's a book - of photos and stories and all my thoughts over the year, and it's really important. But the important things are being buried beneath the boring things and I keep digging it up but before long it's gone again.

Somewhere under the I Have To pay this bill.

I Have To send this out.

I Have To go to work.

Eat.

Sleep.

Go to work.

I Have To sort this all out.

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