Our Hostess, who art at Check-In
Hallowed be thy scales.
My clothes have come.
My shopping done,
my shelves as they are in retail.
Give me this day my boarding pass.
And forgive me my excesses,
As I forgive you for not upgrading me.
And lead me not into Customs Inspection,
But deliver me from baggage charges.
I am simultaneously disgusted at and proud of myself.